Memories. or The One Where I May Have Lost My Mind

A year ago I was getting ready to leave for the land that stole my heart. Today I am getting ready for a Father/Daughter dance I've been a part of coordinating (that I'm really excited about). Last year my heart was bursting with excitement; this year my heart is breaking with longing. It's odd to be excited about the dance and yet so sad about Ukraine at the same time. So as a way to brighten my mood and let y'all laugh at me I give you the things I miss...

Airports- I know right, but there is something about the adventure and exhaustion of being in them and finally arriving at the destination

Ukrainian food- Oh my goodness, stuffed dumplings (w/ potatoes or cherries, yum), campfire in a cup (aka Uzvar- ошав), the juices, more of this below

Chocolate- the best I have ever had!! I couldn't tell you what kinds I had but they were amazing.

The Chocolate Cappuccino- Ukraine has made me a possible coffee drinker, but nothing I've had can compare with the ones there.

Ice cream- I can't even describe it except oh so good!
(see a trend in the last three ;))

Ukrainian bread- Okay I like bread but this had to be my favourite

Tea is better than coffee- No kidding the tea cups were twice the size of the coffee cups, and we got tea every morning with breakfast at the camp!

Salo- (this is one of the parts where you say I'm crazy) Yes. it's nasty (in my American opinion) and yes I almost gagged, but I would eat it in a heartbeat if it meant being back in the Ukraine.

Bogdan's peppers- so hot but so much fun to watch others try to master them.  And the time Alla and I each ate one and then drank our drinks and others because our mouths were on fire.

Photo credit

Squatty potties- (Maybe I have lost it) Okay, I don't actually miss these but just the initial experience (when in Rome...)

The roller coaster drives- rattle your teeth, loosen your joints, and a few bust your head on the ceiling jolts- again the experience

The language(s)- Russian and Ukrainian and something in between. I loved learning new words and just listening to everyone talk, although I hated not being able to reach out and being a listening ear or a word of encouragement.

Futbol- Aka soccer at 7-7:30 in the morning and any other free moment. 

The worship- Some songs I knew (in English) some I only learned a few words (in Ukrainian) but all had the same meaning.  Bringing God the glory and praising Him

Snow- сніг!


More than all the fun and craziness, I miss the people!  I miss getting to know new friends and meeting up with old ones. I miss learning to reach out and be a friend over the barrier of language.  I miss the smiles, the tears, the games, the laughter.  I miss being Jesus to the children and experiencing Him through them. The other counselors were amazing and I'll miss working with them.  I know they are having a great time and I'm praying for them!

PostScript: Since I'm a little behind in posting this I'll say, the Father/Daughter dance turned out fantastic!  Definitely a lasting memory.

Through Christ

Lady B

A little more but not too much…

Well, I have made it safely back to the United States. While it is so good to be home, I again did not return whole. Last time I left a piece of my heart in Ukraine; this time I left pieces of it there. Last time I left my heart in the country of Ukraine; this time I left it with the people.
To write about this trip as a whole would take pages and pages. To describe it briefly wouldn’t do it justice.
I wouldn’t say there were any major things that stuck out to me this time. For me, this trip was made up of a lot of little moments- a look, a sentence, a hug, a smile, a tear- those are what stuck out to me the most.

I remember the day the kids arrived. When I realized they were there my heart jumped and my stomach plunged. I was so excited to meet these kids I had been praying for for weeks and a little nervous. It was just a moment, a little one, yet it stands out in my mind. Another such moment was when I realized the full capacity of the language barrier. In Ukraine they speak both Ukrainian and Russian; I had spent all day that first day completely lost yet enjoying listening to them talk. At small group that night was when it hit me. I was the only American that showed up and as I tried to follow along, with the help of Julia (translator and friend) I happened to glance over to the girl next to me. She looked like something was troubling her, like she might cry. That’s when I realized I was helpless to say anything, to reach out, to listen. I could see she was hurting, and I felt as though I could do nothing about it. That broke my heart.
Those are just two moments in a whole week of moments. There were many, like laughing with the three boys at breakfast every morning (and randomly throughout the days). I never did figure out what we were laughing at, but it was so infectious it could not be helped. Or praying with the girls in our room. We did a lot of crafts too. Those kids would do just about anything (and some of them did). I played more futball than I have in a while (soccer by the way). Jumping on the trampoline right after supper, at night…that was fun.

In everything I realized that these kids are just that- kids. They are not just orphans you hear about and feel sorry for; they are kids/teens who, for a week, got to be showered with love and acceptance, forgiveness and God’s truth that He will never leave or forsake them. I would like to say that out of a camp of 40 many of them got saved. I can’t. I can say for sure that there were many good conversations, and one young man did accept Christ as his Savior. Hopefully more did/will. We may never know this side of heaven, but God knows. 1 Cor 3:6, We planted, another will water, but God will give the increase.
Leaving was one of the hardest parts of this trip. Like I said the kids at camp taught me something- thankfulness. One girl I became close with told me she was thankful God had given her a second chance with her biological mother. Another during small group prayed to find her mother so she could began to have a relationship with her. These two girls made me realized just how blessed I am. I have never had to go in search of love and acceptance and neither should they. Jesus loves and accepts them as they are. That was one of the main points of the camp I think- to let them know Jesus loves them no matter what.
I wish I could go on and on but as with all blog posts this one must come to an end. Thank you so much for every prayer you gave. Lives were certainly impacted, both Ukrainian and American.
Through Christ,
Lady B

A Little Snippet

This trip to Ukraine was very different from the first. For me this trip was made up of a lot of little moments. Many of those moments I'm still learning from. The kids at the camp taught me thankfulness which, in light of the coming holiday, put a lot of things in perspective for me. This week crossed some lines I didn't even know I had, but it was good. Things were not done the way I would have done them, and it was okay. God stretched my patience (with a language barrier that is a good test to pass too) and He opened my eyes and heart to a little more of what the world around me, what others lives are like. It was humbling. God definitely tied a few heartstrings down in Ukraine this trip. I look forward to going back soon, I hope!

Just a Few Days!

In just a few days I will be on my way to the beautiful land that captured my heart in March.
In just a few days I will be helping at a camp for orphans.
In just a few days I will be enjoying the company of friends both new, old, and ones not even met yet!
In just a few days I will be in the Ukraine!!!

Heart Breaking Moments

There were three moments in my trip to Ukraine when my heart was absolutely broken stirred.  I briefly skimmed over them in my last Ukraine post because I knew that I would need to explain them a little further elsewhere.  So here goes…
Anya As Janna, Mrs. Tina, and I worked we got to swap stories amongst us. Ms. Tina and I mostly listened as Janna shared testimonies- theirs and the kids at Komrivka (the orphanage). Many of the kids in Komrivka are social orphans, meaning their family is either unfit or doesn’t want them. One child in particular stood out to me, Anya.
Anya has some bone issues and had to have corrective surgery immediately while it was possible. Once Anya was admitted to the hospital (which was a very trying ordeal) she was there for about a month- a month!- before her surgery. In that month one of the missionaries tried to visit her every day and she had a lady from a local church stay with her. Anya is a social orphan but they still had to get her mother’s permission for all this. Her mom visited her once the whole month and then only talked to her for ten minutes. The surgery finally took place after a lot of stress physically and emotionally for Anya. Normally this is a surgery done at about seven years old or younger and so it was very painful for Anya, who is fourteen. Also the Ukrainian people are not big on pain medicine, so they would only give Anya a minimal amount. Janna told us that when she would cry one of the other moms in the room (there were three kids to a room plus their parents) would snap at her and tell her to stop crying and toughen up. There was also absolutely no privacy or attempt at privacy for her. It was so heartbreaking to hear and to think about this young girl in pain, in the hospital, alone, and so lost.
Mrs. Tina and I were able to visit Anya in the hospital on Friday, and she is a beautiful, brave young lady! (To read Anya’s story in more detail here is Janna and Daniel’s post.  They also have some updates!)
Dinner and an Analogy As I mentioned, we were able to go out and have dinner with the Stoddards and Rosses Thursday night.  Daniel and Janna had not only prepared a slide show of pictures from Komrivka for us (because we were unable to visit (a three week quarantine)) but also a short but moving analogy.
We arrived at dinner to find the table scattered with Ukrainian coins- kopeks. A one-cent kopek is worth one-eighth of a penny. They are absolutely worthless, even in Ukraine. Janna told us that is the view Ukrainian people have of their orphans as well. Even those who work in the orphanages have that attitude. How could anybody say someone is worthless? much less a child? Looking at and holding the kopecks, even now, I think- each of these represents one orphan. It was very sobering.
Understanding the Fear
The last thing that really stuck with me we learned Friday at one of the sites we visited. ‘The Memorial in commemoration of famines’ victims’ is a museum dedicated to the three major famines in Ukraine. Its main focus, though, is the famine that took place from 1932-1933, Holodomor. This famine was artificial, forced by the Soviet Union for the purpose of killing the Ukrainian people. During that time about eleven million people died of starvation and many others were deported to Siberia. I cannot describe how or why it struck me the way it did, but I do know, walking through that Hall of Memory looking at pictures, I felt like I was just beginning to understand the fear that grips that country.
Looking out over Kiev, I knew my heart was forever going to be missing a large piece.

“Then He said to them, “The harvest truly is great, but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” Luke 10:2
Through Christ,
Lady B

Ukraine part 2

Okay so I left y’all with just getting to Kiev.  Here we go….

We arrived in Kiev around Sunday afternoon I think (the time thing still messes with me).  After exchanging our money we opted for a chic, Ukrainian restaurant….

 
(unfortunately no play place)

From there we headed to the market to get our souvenir shopping out of the way.  Being only two women meant we were not nearly done by the time the guys were, well I guess we were.

We were all pretty tired; I was to the point of ready to be sick I was so tired.  By this time I think we had been up about 24 hours.  We decided to push on through and make it down to supper.  That was an experience trying to order and pay and all that.                                                                               Slightly tired?

The food was amazing and the ice cream was even better!  Bro. Jerry shared some of his heart and and some “instructions” before we went to bed.  One thing that hit me really hard was about the orphans.  I don’t remember what he said, but it shook me almost like I had fallen asleep.  Children are precious and those especially that have no home, no family need someone to stand for them.  In Ukraine they have no voice, but I am getting ahead of myself.  I went to bed that night exhausted, excited and ready to see what God had in store.

Monday, March 26, 2012. I woke up just like any other normal day, but today it was different, I was halfway around the world getting ready to…well I don’t know but there I was!  I had enough time to shower and get ready and then it was down to breakfast.  Not too different- crepes, jam, bread, cheese and…cucumber and tomato?  Yes, and it was- oh, so good.  This is actually how every morning went but the food was different so I will spare the food details except to share my favourite breakfast and the best part of every breakfast…  The best part of waking up was certainly not Folgers in your cup, it was the tea.  I am pretty sure Jerry and I scored in the hot beverage department!

Yes, this was my favourite meal for breakfast, and we had it twice.  This was probably the meal I was most worried about- Kraut and wieners.  Turns out the kraut is not actually sour and the wieners are nothing like our hotdogs.
Anyway moving on.  We were finally headed out to Smile House!

There we met Janna and Daniel Ross and got to know Doug Stoddard a little better and meet his family including Petro!

Stoddards
Rosses

After introductions and a tour of Smile House we received our job orders. 

Mrs. Tina and I were assigned painting the living room with Janna.  We had a lot of fun!  Amidst the laughter, paint, and primer, I was truly blessed by these two ladies!  We were able to share our stories and just get to know each other.  Janna also shared about some of the kids from the orphanage, one of which stole and broke my heart, but I will have to save that for later.  That night we all had dinner up in the Stoddard’s apartment made by Mrs. Suzie.  It was delicious!
Monday through Thursday we worked at Smile House most of each day.  We did such things as painting, cleaning, scraping windows, cleaning the refrigerator, electric, pouring concrete floor, putting up vahonka, etc. 
Tuesday was a contemplative day for me with a lot of moments just trying to listen for God.  He had some stuff to share with me that was very thought and prayer provoking.
Wednesday we quit a little early so we could go out and see Kiev all lit up.  It was quite an experience for this small town girl.  I saw things that I don’t think I’ve ever seen before.  We were approached by a beggar; something I had never really seen (different from those on street corners with signs- yet not- both need Christ’s love).  A little later we had a man try to offer the men in our group business cards to a strip club (emphasis on a).  Very different from home yet, again, not.  It was also this afternoon we found out we would not be able to visit the orphanage at Komrivka because of a quarantine.
Thursday we finished up our work, cleaned up our stations and said good-bye to Smile House.  That night we went out for supper with the Stoddards and Rosses.  Since we were not able to go to Komrivka Janna and Daniel prepared a slide show to “take” us there and shred some of the kids’ stories.  It is so sad hearing what so many have been through and what they have to look forward to.  Janna had also prepared a short but moving analogy, but that too will have to be saved for another time.
Friday was our fun day.  We went sight seeing.  I experienced Ukrainian cappuccino for the first time (or any kind for that matter).  Let’s just say that I don’t remember much about the Chernobyl museum.   But I do remember the Ukrainian style buffet and “The Memorial to Famines Victims” (yet another later story).  The rest of my day was spent a the hospital for about an hour and then later rejoining the team at the other Bridge to Life home, Safe Haven.  There we were able to meet some that had graduated from the orphanage.  They are amazing men and women “rebelling” against the system, learning the love of Jesus.  We experienced more joy there than we had seen in all of Kiev!  God’s joy!  All too soon it was time for good-byes.
Saturday morning (I think it was around three) came all too soon and too early.  We were headed back to the States all a little changed by the experience and all wondering what that next step the is leading us in is.
Shew, this by no means is an exhaustive account of the trip. there are some things I left out that I wish I could share but time and space and just the fact of still cherishing those moments make them hard to share.  I know I hinted at a few things and those I will be sure to share when time permits.  For now I am looking for ward to October 22nd when I get to once again reach Kiev, Ukraine with Jesus’ love!
Through Christ,
Lady B

Peace Offering ;)

So here is a little video for you wile you are still waiting for the rest of my Ukraine story.
…oh, and there is a little surprise too.

Ukraine…If I can

So I am a little slack but I promised a post about Ukraine so here it goes.

My heart was broken, I fell in love, my heart was broken, and I fell in love some more (okay that sounds kind of cheesy but oh well).

That is what I wrote in an email to a friend.  And yes it is cheesy, but it is, oh so true!
I along with seven others (we met up with two in Kiev) embarked on a trip to Kiev, Ukraine on March 23, 2012.  A trip to help change lives in which our own were changed.
First let’s get our group introduced-

Bro. Steve, Bro. David, Bro. Randy, Mike, Ms. Tina, Bro. Jerry (not pictured), Jerry and yours truly.

Friday, March 23, 2012 began as any other day except that it was not.  I was  still shocked.  Was it really the day?  Was I really headed to Ukraine?   I was so in awe of what God had done.  I almost cannot count the number of times I wrote in my journal “I cannot believe I’m on my way to Ukraine.”   We left that afternoon and it was quite an uneventful trip…or not.  We got to the airport two hours early only to find that our flight was under a two hour delay.  That’s okay, God had a plan; plus we actually got to know each other a little better.

Hanging out, waiting, calling people to let them know our progress :P

We finally arrived in Atlanta (knowing we missed our connecting flight to Paris) .  The next flight to Paris was to be Saturday afternoon so our airline paid for rooms (and food) for all of us.  Everyone had their own room and we were not all in the same hotel.  It was quite the experience for me.  Here I am the youngest person on this trip (by twenty years at least- not counting Jerry who is 28) and only having done this once with my youth group.  I was a little taken aback but really excited. 
Ms. Tina, Bro, David and I caught our shuttle to the Crown Plaza.  Remember I said God had a plan for us being late, well there was one other person on there as well- a young soldier.  We were able to talk.  He was on his way back to Afghanistan and he told he is an agnostic but he was looking for answers.  Bro. David gave him a tract and shared a little with him.  Unfortunately we did not catch his name nor see him again but I pray that he finds The Answer to his questions and some how we were able to point him in that direction.  Please pray for him as he is there right now I am sure.  Pray that is eyes and heart would be open to the truth.

What a lovely place to meet with my Jesus

Saturday, March 24, 2012 was rather uneventful.  After a lovely morning we set off back to the airport arrived two hours early and finally made it onto the plan.  The flight was almost uneventful but for one thing…
Yep, we were trying to fix the air vents and they just dropped- just ours.  Thankfully they just had to come put them back in and we were not delayed or anything.  The rest of the trip was uneventful and we made it safely to Paris.  From there we went to Kiev. 
To be continued….