"He must increase, but I must decrease."

Sunday, April 23, 2017


Today I met a World Race alumni that lives in my town and attends the seminary. It was, in human terms, completely by chance. My church was not having service due to working in the community. I ended up following a group of friends to their church, after some nudging from the Holy Spirit, where thie fellow Racer shared about what God has her doing now.

Today after church I read some World Race blogs, they made me cry and long for that life and community. I miss the depths of trust and relationship with God and people. I miss the miracle stories and the fun adventures. I'm proud of the ones I love who are still out on the field or have returned there.
Today while settling in for some focused homework time I received a message from a friend asking if I'd be willing to connect with her sister who is interested in going on the World Race. Excitedly I said yes. I love talking about the moment that God used to completely change the direction of my life and do more work in my heart than I thought possible in just short of a year.

Today I am dreaming of and longing for the world, for adventure, for deeper depths with/into Christ. Today I am reminded that I was created for much more than sitting still and watching.
Today God reminded me of the joy I had when I fully trusted Him with reckless abandon and put action to it.
That is who I want to be. I want to be a girl so devoted to God and His word and so in love with my Savior that I have no fears and caution is thrown to the winds. I believe God has led me here this far, but I have allowed the ideas, the concerns, the "safety" of culture to overshadow the truth of His freedom and calling. I have convinced myself I need to be frozen in place to complete the task given me.
It is not true.

I can move freely in the calling God has laid before me. These paths are new, but they are still laid by the same One who called me to the world, to be wild in my love for Him, and to live out joy. I can do all those even as I fulfill His right now plans.

Monday, March 27, 2017

I'm Not on the World Race Anymore

Location: Medellín, Colombia
Team: Steve, Tanner, David, and myself (yeah, being the only girl has its blessings and curses)
Mission: Spread the Love and Light of God

We arrived in Medellín, Colombia on Friday. The Seminary we are staying at is beautiful!  It is on the side of one of the mountains and so much of the city can be seen from the balcony (it's not quite the roof but it'll do). Just about everything for the first three days has given me flashbacks to my time in South America while I was one the World Race- the view, the work (painting), the language (and lack thereof on my part), the food (mangos, naranjillos, empanadas- oh my!), and the people. There's only one thing, I'm not on the World Race anymore. I didn't think about it much for the first four days. It wasn't until last night when I was journaling, asking God why I was here that it hit me.

Let me back up.

Tuesday our team joined a group from a local church and went out evangelizing door-to-door. We had a good time, made new friends, and saw forty-four decisions to follow Christ! Unfortunately, I was not feeling invested. I was going through motions of giving my testimony, allowing for translation, presenting the Gospel using an EvangeCube, and listening as the local team member prayed with the person. It was a great experience, but very exhausting. It was not how I would have done things based on my Race experience.
That's what led me to wonder why God sent me on this trip. It was as I was questioning that God hit me with a novel thought- this trip is not the World Race. Though I learned so much while I was on the Race, it is time to let go of the Race itself. I cannot make every trip I go on fit into my "World Race" shaped box. I can keep the lessons and the memories, but I have to move forward. God challenged me to take off the "World Racer" title and live the "Kingdom Builder" title.
Both last night and this morning I asked God to remove anything of me, including the World Race, and instead fill me with His Spirit. He did! I was still exhausted as we went door to door, but I had joy in what we were doing. I got to see beauty, excitement, and encouragement as I walked the streets of Medellín with my team spreading the Light and Love of Christ.
I may not be on the World Race anymore, but I am doing something even better. I am building the Kingdom of God.

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Here We Go Again

I have entered another season of fundraising. I really didn't want to; I honestly hate asking people for money. I have pushed it back, prayed for miraculous provision, and hoped I could make enough money to meet my fundraising goal. I have tried so hard to keep from asking people for money...again. Don't get me wrong, I cannot put into words how thankfully and blessed I am when people have given in the past to various mission trips. I guess in some ways I'm still "too American" as a missionary.

Yesterday God called me out on this lack of humility, and even as I write He is showing me more. I was asking Him how I was going to do this. He invited me to go on this trip, so where are the funds? That's when I heard Him, "Ask My people."
"But, God, I really don't want to ask people for money- again."
"Um, ah...I've asked so many times over the years. What if people are tired of it?"
"Don't you believe I will speak to My people on your behalf?"
"...yeah, well..."
"Do you trust Me?"
*groans* "Yes."
"Ask My people."

So here I am asking you, friends. I'm inviting you to join me again for another Kingdom journey to spread the Gospel.
*Pause:That is another thing God reminded me- on top of being prideful in not asking for help I was also robbing you of being a part of the collateral blessing from this trip.*

Basically I need $300 by the end of this month and another $600 before March (the total cost is $1,895).

This time I will be going with One Mission Society (OMS) to Colombia. There is actually a very small group of us going, but God doesn't take size into account. We will be working with a seminary in MedellĂ­na doing manual labor, teaching, ministering in a local prison, and helping with street ministry. The trip takes place over spring break, March 13-17, and will also help me fulfill an Asbury requirement for cross cultural experience.

If you feel led to donate, checks can be made out to One Mission Society. The picture below is of the response card. I can also send you a copy of it in the mail.

I cannot thank each of you enough for every way you have helped and blessed me over the years!!

Through Christ,

Friday, August 5, 2016

Little did Bilbo and I know...

Today I feel a little like Bilbo Baggins- a simple, unassuming person who went on a great adventure.

Growing up I was the girl that, while all my friends wanted to get out of our smallish town, wanted to stay. I had everything I needed right there, why leave? I was the little girl that cried at night when I thought about growing up, because I knew it meant leaving home.

Looking back at that little girl I smile, for little did she know where God would take her.
Little did she know that she would carry the gospel literally around the world.
Little did she know that she would live in another state for a year.
Little did she know that by saying yes to God and one ten day adventure her life would never be the same. She would never look back at that moment in regret, for with that simple yes the world was open to her.

So yes, this morning I feel a bit like Bilbo as I get ready to embark on yet another adventure. Each one continues to stretch me and change me, but unlike Bilbo; when I come to my last adventure I will not feel thin "like butter scraped over too much bread."  No, I shall feel full, because God is leading me on this journey. He fills me every day as He calls me closer to Him.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Boxes and Bounderies

One of my favourite things about my church is the way we have broken out of the box of what "church" looks like. We have not only broken out, but we've crossed certain boundaries too.


Did you noticed the terminology I just used there? Box, boundaries, broken out, crossed. Those words cause me to stop and think a minute. A box has to be broken out of whereas bounderies can just be crossed. There is something significant in that.

I really hate boxes! Bounderies are great. I have bounderies to who I am. You have bounderies to who you are. But for goodness sakes don't try to neatly put me in a box! Bounderies imply space also. Space to roam and grow. Space that hasn't been seen by everyone even me.

A box says, "Here you are. I have you safely contained in these four walls and a lid of who and what I think you are. You can't go anywhere. This is you." The problem with that is it gives me no room to grow, to spread out, to stretch, or to learn. A box has no mystery to discover!

Give me boundaries and I will flourish. I will grow in the space I am given. I will stretch. I will discover hidden things. I may see the sky and decide one day to fly. I may outgrow the boundaries and have to set up new ones. There will be times I'll test the boundaries and maybe even cross them; I will learn.
Who I am is ever changing. My personality is a living thing that needs to have the okay to grow and be shaped by God.

Do not put me in your box of lables; let me roam the fields within my own (God's) boundaries of who I am. Encourage me to grow and ask myself and God who I really am to be. Call me "further up and further in" to who God has designed me to be, but don't be angry or surprised if I choose to stay within my boundaries or instead soar from them.

Even in my changing, growing, stretching, and shaping know that who I am at my core will remain the same. The identity God has given me will not change, it will only be made more firm in all my growing.

Let us learn not to put each other in boxes, but instead be willing to cross some boundaries and learn to love each other where we are.

Friday, May 27, 2016

When 20 seconds of courage turns into 10 minutes

Several weeks ago I was asked to be the speaker at my brother's high school graduation. Well, graduation is over and my brother is officially an adult. I thought I"d share the speech God gave me for the graduates. I left just as I wrote it, in a speech format.

What does it take to change a life? Two things came to mind as I was praying about this speech.
Time and courage.
There are many, many more that others can and have covered, but today I want to focus on these two.

Everything you and I do take time and at least an element of courage. How much time and courage am I talking about? Right now let's take it in a small amount- twenty seconds.
Twenty seconds doesn't seem like much time, but before we keep going I want to give you a frame of reference for it...

There it is. Twenty seconds. Such a small amount of time in the grand scheme of things, but, as you probably noticed, in a moment it can feel forever long.
So, why twenty seconds? What does this small amount of time have to do with your life, especially now-- at graduation?

There is a great quote from the movie We Bought a Zoo, the main character Benjamin Mee says, "You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally, twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery, and I promise you something great will come of it."

What would happen if you decided to make that quote your motto and live by it? What would twenty seconds of insane courage look like in your life?

I know, at times in my life it has looked like starting a conversation, asking to pray for someone, making a decision, sending a note or text, and many other similar moments. (Adventures in Missions visit with Cody)
I could go on to give you more examples from the lives of others, but it really comes down to your twenty seconds, your moment. You will have many of them; it's all in what you decide to do in each one. You never fully know what God will do with those moments.

Since it really is such a small amount of time, what keeps you and me from that twenty seconds of courage?

That feeling of apprehension that something unpleasant will happen, whether imagined or real.
It can look different in each of our lives and even at different times of our live- fear of rejection, fear of what others think, fear of inadequacy, fear of messing up, fear of the unknown- in all cases, though, it does the same thing,--- stops us from moving forward in the plan God has for us.

I am sure most of you have heard most of your lives, God has a plan for your life. Well, you are the one that has to choose to walk in it, and that takes courage.

God tells us several times throughout the Bible to "fear not," and a few more times He says "be strong and courageous."

Graduates, you are facing a new future, and it can be intimidating and confusing at times, please don't let fear keep you from God's plan.

I don't speak without my own experience in this area of fear.

After my graduation I pretty well knew I would go to school. Two years later, though, I had my Associate in Arts and no idea what God wanted for me.
That is when fear began to set in. My fear took the form of being afraid I would make the wrong decision. I was constantly questioning every decision I made. 

“Is the really what God wants?"
"What if I'm wrong?"
"What if God is telling me to do something else?" 

These questions haunted me every time I started to take a step, big or small. Then one Tuesday afternoon I shared some of my thoughts with my spiritual father.

(Sidenote here guys, find a man or woman of godly wisdom to mentor and pray for you) 

Anyway, he shared a quote with me from his spiritual father, "God can fix your mistakes, but He won't tolerate your disobedience." This changed my life. No longer did I have to worry about or fear everything going wrong or not. 

Graduates, as long as you truly are pursuing God and listening for His direction He will not lead you down a wrong path, and if there is a mistake that needs to be corrected, He will show you. Just don't let fear cause you to disobey His direction.

Now then, I echo the poet Mary Oliver, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
You, my friends, are about to step out on a new adventure of your own.

Some of you have been preparing for this moment for the last five years. You've got it all planned, out and you know what you're doing. That's great. Now have the courage to trust God and walk in His calling and do it.

Some of you may have no idea what you are doing now, much less come fall. Have the courage to ask God, and as you ask be willing to wait for His answer and then do it.

Whatever it is that is coming next, remember that it will take time and courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather trusting God and taking action in spite of that fear.

This life you have now will be the only one you can live. Don't let fear hold you back.
Live your one wild and precious life as you walk courageously in the God's will knowing that He will direct your paths. 

After all, sometimes all you really need is twenty seconds of insane courage.

Monday, April 18, 2016

I'm Giving Up God's Promises.

"That's it. I'm done. I'm throwing in the towel. God gave me promises, and I don't see them happening. God has asked me to do things, and they don't make sense."

Those are probably things that came to your mind when you read that title, but rest assured, that is not the vein in which I'm moving.

I'm giving up God's promises, because He has so much more for me. I am a entering state of surrender, or at least I'm trying to. You see, I've come to realize that while God does keep His promises, sometimes, oftentimes, they don't look the way we want or expect them to look. Sometimes we get so focused on the promise we forget Who gave it to us, then it becomes an idol.

Would I be willing to go in a new direction even if it means letting go of a promise?
What if God is leading me on a path and we take a sudden detour that seems to lead directly away from the promises of God. Will I still trust Him?
What if I told everybody God is leading "here" and then, by God's direction, I end up somewhere else. Am I willing to stand the questions and look foolish before them?
What if God started to fulfill a promise and then asked me to give it up? Oh, flashbacks to Abraham and Isaac...can I do that? 

So what does it mean to give up God's promises?
To me it looks like opening my hands so that God may give and take away as is His plan. He may empty my hands; He may fill them.
It looks like climbing each mountain before me with my hands wide open. Giving up God's promises looks like throwing a stone in the depths and seeing the effects.

I am giving up God's promises that I may have God Himself.

I will fix my eyes not upon the promise, but upon the Promise-Giver.