Little did Bilbo and I know...

Today I feel a little like Bilbo Baggins- a simple, unassuming person who went on a great adventure.

Growing up I was the girl that, while all my friends wanted to get out of our smallish town, wanted to stay. I had everything I needed right there, why leave? I was the little girl that cried at night when I thought about growing up, because I knew it meant leaving home.

Looking back at that little girl I smile, for little did she know where God would take her.
Little did she know that she would carry the gospel literally around the world.
Little did she know that she would live in another state for a year.
Little did she know that by saying yes to God and one ten day adventure her life would never be the same. She would never look back at that moment in regret, for with that simple yes the world was open to her.

So yes, this morning I feel a bit like Bilbo as I get ready to embark on yet another adventure. Each one continues to stretch me and change me, but unlike Bilbo; when I come to my last adventure I will not feel thin "like butter scraped over too much bread."  No, I shall feel full, because God is leading me on this journey. He fills me every day as He calls me closer to Him.

Boxes and Bounderies

One of my favourite things about my church is the way we have broken out of the box of what "church" looks like. We have not only broken out, but we've crossed certain boundaries too.

Stop.

Did you noticed the terminology I just used there? Box, boundaries, broken out, crossed. Those words cause me to stop and think a minute. A box has to be broken out of whereas bounderies can just be crossed. There is something significant in that.

I really hate boxes! Bounderies are great. I have bounderies to who I am. You have bounderies to who you are. But for goodness sakes don't try to neatly put me in a box! Bounderies imply space also. Space to roam and grow. Space that hasn't been seen by everyone even me.

A box says, "Here you are. I have you safely contained in these four walls and a lid of who and what I think you are. You can't go anywhere. This is you." The problem with that is it gives me no room to grow, to spread out, to stretch, or to learn. A box has no mystery to discover!

Give me boundaries and I will flourish. I will grow in the space I am given. I will stretch. I will discover hidden things. I may see the sky and decide one day to fly. I may outgrow the boundaries and have to set up new ones. There will be times I'll test the boundaries and maybe even cross them; I will learn.
Who I am is ever changing. My personality is a living thing that needs to have the okay to grow and be shaped by God.

Do not put me in your box of lables; let me roam the fields within my own (God's) boundaries of who I am. Encourage me to grow and ask myself and God who I really am to be. Call me "further up and further in" to who God has designed me to be, but don't be angry or surprised if I choose to stay within my boundaries or instead soar from them.

Even in my changing, growing, stretching, and shaping know that who I am at my core will remain the same. The identity God has given me will not change, it will only be made more firm in all my growing.

Let us learn not to put each other in boxes, but instead be willing to cross some boundaries and learn to love each other where we are.

“Adventure is worthwhile.” – Aesop

November 11th

Today is a special day. Some people know what today is. It is a day to celebrate one thing. Well, today is actually a day to celebrate three things. Two of them are for all Americans and the last one is for a certain set of people around the world. What could these be? I'm glad you asked.

November 11, 1620
A great day in history, especially American history. Just two days before (Nov. 9th) the Mayflower landed at Plymouth Rock. Before disembarking the people of the ship, who were not all there for the same reasons, realized that they were not where they should have landed and therefore were under no set government. William Bradford and several other men realized this was no way to start a new settlement and on this day 1620 the Mayflower Compact was drafted and signed by the whole ship's company.
Today marks a great day in history. Though still under the reign of the king of England, this was the first form of self government written in the US.

(Video) The Mayflower Compact

November 11
First set apart as being the day World War I ended, sixty years later it became what it is now. This is the day we honor all veterns of every war. This is the day we specifically set aside to say thank you to every life lost and life lived for our freedom. It definitely should not be only one day out of the year, but even so, make sure to remember and thank all those who have fought and are fighting now. They are the people who make this nation great.
There is a new campaign to turn on a green (the color) light today and keep it on for all veterns as a way to say thank you. While it should not be a replacement for an actual "thank you", I like the idea. As the ad says, our veterns are most camouflaged when they are at home living their lives. Let's show them our gratitude.

11/11
Like I said before, only a select group of people will know today in another light. Those that can be called "the Wild Ones" that have left a  life of normalcy to journey deeper into the heart of God. These Wild Ones have heard a call and answered it. Today is not so much a celebration or memorial of a certain day in history for these people, but it is a reminder of the call they answered. Today is World Race Day. The World Race is a program of Adventures in Missions in which you travel to 11 countries in 11 months (11n11) doing missions. It is so much more than a mission trip, though. The World Race is a challenge to go with God on a specific journey around the world and deeper into His heart. Only a few are called to it, those can tell you that it changed them in some way. Those "Wild Ones" may not celebrate this day, but my guess is that when they catch a glimpse of the date at some point, they will remember and perhaps have their own quiet rememberance.

Did I?

Did I really just do that? Did I really just take a leap of faith?  

It's kind of odd to take a leap of faith and then have to wait. In a sense it feels like your just hanging out there not sure what is going to happen, but the truth is I have landed just where God wants me to- in His arms resting and waiting.  Who knows what will come of this jump.  Perhaps nothing.  Perhaps everything. Maybe it is just one step on the journey.  Maybe it's the beginning of a whole new adventure. Only God knows and it is in Him I trust!

Encouraging Thought from Jim Elliot

In a letter to his parents (August 8, 1950).

“Surely those who know the great passionate heart of

Jehovah must deny their own loves to share in the

statement of His. Consider the call from the Throne above,

Go ye, and from round about, Come over and help us, and

even the call from the damned souls below, Send Lazarus

to my brothers, that they come not to this place. Impelled,

then, by these voices, I dare not stay home while Quichuas

perish. So what if the well-fed church in the homeland

needs stirring? They have the Scriptures, Moses, and the

Prophets, and a whole lot more. Their condemnation is

written on their bank books and in the dust on their Bible

covers. American believers have sold their lives to the

service of Mammon, and God has His rightful way of

dealing with those who succumb to the spirit of Laodicea."

Emphasis added

Step of Faith

Waiting- A Verb

Waiting, it seems to be my lot in life or so it feels.  I have often struggled and at times still do with waiting, but I have learned something recently and straight from God too (those are the best lessons)- waiting is a verb!  Before I could learn this lesson, though, I had to be broken; more broken than I have been in a long time.  See I was complaining to God about having to wait, “I’m tired of waiting, God.  I want to do something.”  And many such pleadings, but then in that moment when I ran out of things to say God whispered to me, “Are you willing to do nothing for my sake?”  That stopped me; was I?  I pleaded, I thought, I cried and then, oh so sweet, I surrendered.  Was it hard? Yes.  Do I struggle?  More than you can imagine, but I know where my peace is and it is to Him I turn.
As I said I have learned waiting is a verb. It is not just about sitting around twiddling thumbs.  The years of waiting are a time to do.  These are the years we have to learn and serve freely.  Here are a few things that God has provided for me in this waiting period.
Recently my church has started an emergency response team.  We are in the training stage right now, and so far I have been able to get my First Aid/CPR, chainsaw safety, and power line safety certifications.  I am also working on the FEMA IS classes (well, I’m supposed to be).   Who knows how this will be used in the future, but it is definitely good to know!
God has also given me the opportunity to volunteer once a week at our local crisis pregnancy center.  I absolutely love it!  Being a part of saving the lives of many innocent children and helping many women/families that have no where else to go is a blessing.  To see the faces of the girls and women that come in, some are heartbreaking and some are so full of joy.  Also in my free time I have been able to read some of the curriculum for the parenting classes we offer. 
Of course I have been working also.  As of right now I am working at Allstate and cleaning.  I rather enjoy both and I most definitely am learning from both jobs.
Another opportunity God has presented to me is being a part of coordinating our local father/daughter dance.  My dear friend asked me at the beginning of this year to come alongside her and another lovely friend as the third person on the “team”.  It has been so exciting so far and a little daunting, but this is God’s dance and He has everything perfectly planned.
Of course what better to spend my time of waiting than with my family.  I have had the delight to visit with several family members just in the past weeks.  And there is the perk of being a homemaker in training (if that is the path God takes me down). Being able to hone my gardening skills will be fun this year (some day I will be like my Nana)! And as always there are the kids at church I can pour more into. 
As you can see waiting has not caused me to become lax or lazy, but just the opposite.  By surrendering all my time to God (moment by moment preferably), He has opened up many opportunities to serve Him, serve others, and even learn new skills. 
With all of this going on it is sometimes hard to stop, but the sweetest part of this period is by far my time with God.  Spending time with my Beloved Bridegroom could never be matched.  Though I am often distracted, using this time to know Him more will carry me so much farther than any other skill I pick up through life.
In what ways is God asking you to wait? How have you been using the time?

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!
Psalm 27:14

Normal? Radical?

Wow, my Beloved and I just had an amazing conversation and I would like to give you just a peek into something we discussed!
What is radical?  When comes to being a Christian what is radical?  I think today’s Christians and God have a very different meaning to radical.  What God calls normal we tend to call radical.  Think about it…  Is it radical to die for one’s faith? Is it radical to live completely for Jesus knowing you will be scorned?

“If one were living the normal Christian life is it possible to go beyond the realm of normal to radical?  What would it look like? Dying for You? Living for You?  How could that be?  That’s what the world says, but You died for me and You gave me life.  Would it not be a normal thing to want to die for someone who died for me? Would it not be normal to live the life that was given me?

You died for me; should I not be willing to die also!

You gave me life; should I not live it! 

The only radical, beyond that I can think of, in my finite, earthly mind, is heaven.  That is the only next step I can see.  To step from normal Christian life to radical heavenly life; oh what joy!!

I know that I am by no means close to being normal. I can desire the time to be radical!! Lead me on Jesus!!”

I’m pretty sure this does not quite grasp any of what we talked about but knowing that my King is willing to bring me into His throne room and come down from is throne to speak about such lofty matters…there are no words…

 For the Lord Most High is awesome;
He is a great King over all the earth.
Psalm 47:2

Long Time in Coming

As the title indicates this post has been a long time in coming.  I have for quite a while now wanted to share my testimony on here and with people I know, but as was pointed out to me, fear and pride were holding me back.  Some have heard it- in part.  Here though I would like to share the full story (with discretion) of what God has brought me through.
I was saved at the age of six at a Rob Evans (the Donut Man) show.  When we moved here we became very involved in church.  I was a typical church kid for the most part.  I was even homeschooled.  But some where along the way I became prideful in my “righteousness”. 
The very peak of my pride became my very darkest downfall- my purity.  Around my teen years I began to look at, watch and read things I shouldn’t.  And my heart was very rebellious. Outwardly nobody would have ever known.  I was the girl that didn’t date, dressed modestly, was saving sex till marriage, etc. but inwardly I was all rot.  Impure thoughts, rebellion, and others littered my heart and mind.  I knew what I was doing was wrong.  For a short time I didn’t care, but then I came to despise it.  I would come to God often to confess, cry, plead, even connive with Him only to go right back to doing it.  Even after I felt God calling me to missions I couldn’t get rid of it.
LIFT Camp 2008 Cedarville University.  My last year of high school camp.  There’s not a whole lot I remember about the services, but I do remember being so broken over this secret sin that was eating away at me.  I grabbed a particular counselor and we went backstage and I told her everything I had done, looked at, and everything.  That was the first confession for me.  Now, life did not immediately turn around and it was not until two years later (after watching s LIFT service online) that I confessed to my mom. 
February 2011 is the date that sticks out in my mind though.  I can remember the day clearly.  It is the day of mine and Jesus’ anniversary, the day I truly met my Beloved and my life was changed forever.  That day I excepted the proposal of my King and He washed me clean and set me free. That day Life began!
Many times I have thought about which characters of the Bible I identify with.  There are two that resonate closely with my heart: the woman caught in the act of adultery and Peter.  Both were condemned in some way (the woman by her actions and Peter by his denial) yet they were both restored and given new life. That is the journey I feel God has taken me on, and He still is.
He has healed some wounds and left some scars, but our scars are our story.

This Day

A year.  How could have just been a year and yet how could have already been a whole year.  Looking back she remembered…

“Adulteress!” they spat as they grabbed her by the arm.
“Adulteress,” they announced as they dragged her through the streets, “Come, and see the great sinner!”
A crowd formed.  Mocking, jeering, even shocked faces surrounded her.  People pointed and whispered,
“Could it be her?”
“Is she the one?”
“Did you know?”
Shame filled her as she closed her eyes.
Suddenly all fell silent. She knew death was imminent. But, the blows never came. 
Where were her accusers?  Was the crowd?
She looked up. There. One man.  Who was he?
She gasped- the Teacher. Surely he would condemn her.  Sinking to her knees she covered her face in shame.  How could she look at Him?
But, oh wonder of wonder, He picked her up from the ground.  He touched her!  A touch of love- not anger or hate, love.  Then He spoke, “Woman, where are your accusers? Hasn’t anyone condemned you?”
Wonder filling her face she whispered, “No one, Lord.”
"And neither do I.  Go, leave your life of sin, and sin no more.”
Tears streaming down her face she just nodded.  There were no words to speak.  She watched as He turned back to the crowd and began to teach once more.  This man loved her and proclaimed it.    
No, she would never be the same; this day Life began.

So…

life for a Life

Wow, there have certainly been a lot of changes in my life, and I am beyond words, incapable to describe what has been going on!

One such change is the journey God has taken me on!  The end- which is not really the end, really it’s the beginning (I know cliché, but true)- is death.  Real true giving up of this life and its pleasures (all of them, even if they are good) for the Life of my Jesus. 

I have drawn the battle lines and chosen my allegiance!  I have chosen to join my King in His suffering at the Cave of Adullam (look it up, definitely a story to ponder and…well just look it up)!  I have chosen to die so that I might live but really not I but Christ in me! 

What does this Life look like?

I am not really sure- yet, but I know that it does not include frittering (yes, new word taken from the Ludys) my life away on the fancies and whims of this life.  As much as I enjoy such things as movies, books and even blogging I will gladly give them up completely to follow my King into whatever battle He enters and fighting until my “hand is weary and sticks to the sword.” 

I cannot sit by and enjoy the things I once did, knowing what I know now and be comfortable.  There homeless children without love!  There are human beings being treated worse than dirt. There are lives being lost to the armies of hell!  There is a revival that is on the brink of happening!  There are prayers to be prayed!  There is a God who wants to answer, and there is a King who belongs on the throne of this earth, but I have to- we have to- fight to put Him there!

What will God require of me in this life?  I only know that it will be a laying down of of my hopes, dreams, and desires to follow Him down that dusty road that only a few have trod. 

So if you don’t see me around as much, that is why.  I have gone off on a *seeming* harebrained adventure and, hopefully, will not be returning from it…ever!

Through Christ,

Lady B

PostScript- You can most certainly join this adventure too!  Just ask ^

 

God’s Birthday Present

Jesus has truly blessed me today! My brother and I just finished watching the last session of Passion2012 and I cannot put into words how I feel!

My prayer request for this new year, my 22nd year, is that it would be all about Christ and that I would speak fearlessly/boldly of His mystery!

"I lay me down, I'm not my own, I belong to You alone, lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart, this much is true, There's no life apart from You, lay me down, lay me down! And it will be my joy to say, Your will, Your way!"

“On the alter of our praise let there be no higher name, Jesus Son of God, You laid down Your perfect life, You are the sacrifice, Jesus Son of God, You are Jesus Son of God
Be lifted higher than all You've overcome, Your Name be louder than any other song, There is no power that can come against Your love, The Cross was enough, the Cross was enough"

A Fragile Life?

So, I am the kind of girl who really enjoys Jane Austen dramas (on screen and off) and even dreams of living in those genteel times, but when comes right down to it; I would never make it.  Oh, yes, I would so enjoy having those manners and decorum and all that, but I could never live life as one so-- fragile. 

Give me the rough and tumble women of the wild west or the pilgrim/pioneer wives and daughters. 
Women who were all girl but worked with their hands and hard!

I want to live life to its fullest.  I do not want to spend my life, my health, my abilities sitting and doing nothing for fear of breaking me. I want to have fun, get dirty, break nails, even get a few scratches and nicks (see comment below for a favourite quote), go until I am almost spent (within bounds of reason), work, serve, play.  I want to do everything even if that is impossible.  I do not want to sit at home all the time!  Even when I am at home I want to be busy.

Do I do all this now? No.  Am I shunning relaxation? No. I am just saying that every moment I have should be spent. 

I just recently listened to an old podcast by Eric Ludy called Should We Not also Have Scars? (unfortunately I cannot find a link to the audio, but here is the transcript- very short) and that (plus some other thoughts and such) is what got this post started.
In the podcast Eric speaks of following Jesus and how we as Americans “are quite a sedentary lot.”  We want to stay comfortable but, as Eric shares, Amy Carmichael once said,

We follow a scarred Captain,
Should we not also have scars?

Wow, my Jesus was scarred in so many ways.  Do I even have one scar to show for Him?  Now, I do not mean physically- for the most part.  But has my heart and spirit been scarred because of my work for the Kingdom? 
Have I been seared by scenes and thoughts of the poor, needy, slaves and orphans?  Have I stood against friends and family because of what I know is true?  Have I been shunned by those I love?  Have I taken blows for my family, friends or even strangers, because I dared to stand against the enemy on their behalf?
Have I spent my body working to rescue those in need?  Helping the weak, poor, sick and injured? Have I pushed myself to the limits because I was so busy praying?  Have I gone without food, not so much by choice, but because my heart was so burdened?

I could go on and on…I want my life to be full, I want it to be worth something to my King.  I do not want to take up space.  I do not want to waste time.

I do not want to be fragile so that God cannot use me!

RAK CHAZAK!

Seeking, Learning, Finding, Growing

I cannot even begin to fathom how to describe the past few weeks!

God has been teaching me so much.  Truly, every time I turn around I feel as though I have just finished a journey and then I am starting a new one.  Looking at it from a simple human perspective it seems tiresome, but seeing it and experiencing it with God, as I have been doing, has been so refreshing and amazing!  I will admit, I have gotten tired at times, but the amazing thing is- that is part of the journey, and in those times I rest in the arms of my Beloved or I learn stamina. 

I have been reading When God Writes Your Life Story which has been an experience (I am still reading it- little by little).  Then God began to take me on a quest to learn what it truly means to seek Him.  I have been a little sidetracked but I am beginning it again.  And I have been visiting a friend’s church.  The messages have been about who the Holy Spirit is.  How could I have not known this?!?  So a few Sundays ago I invited the Holy Spirit to be a living part of my life!  Since then it has been…Ineffable! 
I have prayed in ways that I never imagined myself praying, and I have seen prayers answered in amazing ways!  As I read my Bible or other things and even while I listen to songs I see things in a new light.  I am almost literally sitting in my chair going  “Oh, oh, ah-ha!”
Every day is a new day- a gift- to surrender.  Truly when you “Draw near to God…He will draw near to you.”

Through Christ,

Lady B

PostScript- Yes, this is my 100th post, and it seems fitting.

My god…a confession

¹ And Moses called all Israel, and said to them: “Hear, O Israel, the statutes and judgments which I speak in your hearing today, that you may learn them and be careful to observe them. ² The LORD our God made a covenant with us in Horeb. ³ The LORD did not make this covenant with our fathers, but with us, those who are here today, all of us who are alive. ⁴ The LORD talked with you face to face on the mountain from the midst of the fire. ⁵ I stood between the LORD and you at that time, to declare to you the word of the LORD; for you were afraid because of the fire, and you did not go up the mountain. He said:
⁶ ‘I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
⁷ ‘You shall have no other gods before Me.
⁸ ‘You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; ⁹ you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, ¹⁰ but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

~Deuteronomy 5:1-10

How many times have I read those words and just moved right along saying- of course.  How many times have I told myself- You have no other god.  It is not a verse I often take into account but the other day God kind of knocked me up side the head with it.  As I read it, I was ready to move along as I always do but there was something holding me back.  So I read it again and tried to move on and still I could not.  I finally stopped and took a minute to think on those words and when I did my life was laid before me to search and I found something I did not like.  I had another god.  I had bowed down to another and had been for a very long time. 

What is this god?  My computer; namely Facebook.  Facebook is not bad but it is addicting and distracting.  I have noticed my “addiction” in the past and even taken time away from it but at the end of the week or month or whatever it is always the same. 

Facebook has consumed my life.  It has taken away my time from my family, it has reduced my communication with family and friends to mere jots on a “wall”, most of all my relationship with God has suffered to the point that I feel as though we barely ever talk.  That is a scary, horrible feeling and I do not ever want it to become a hold in my life.  I have struggled with giving it up which in turn tells me that it has become entirely too important in my life. 
Yes. I do like to keep up with my family and friends but I would rather have a deeper, more meaningful relationship with them than what I get from Facebook. 

I am ready to get away with my Bridegroom!

Striving to live the Normal Christian life!

Through Christ,

Lady B

Amazing Morning!

Wow, God is so amazing!  I cannot even begin to put into words the awesome time I had with Him this morning.  First off, I was talking to Him about living a set apart life in not just my inner man (character) but also in my outward man (environment, time, dress, etc.).  Afterwards I read Psalm 75 which was really good but I felt like reading more so I went to my reading schedule (which I have not been keeping up with but God had a reason for that) and read Leviticus 19-23.  It was amazing! There are  at least five verses that spoke about being holy or set apart, I was so excited that I just felt like God put them there for me today!  Then I went into my prayer time, and I have only done this once before, but I made a list of all the urgent prayer requests and as I made the list I added people as they came to mind.  I had no idea why I was praying for some of them, but if they came to mind I wrote them down and prayed for them.  It was the most amazing prayer time I have ever had.  I spoke with God about decisions people had to make, I called out to Jehovah-Jireh and pleaded with Jehovah-Rapha.  I shared my heart with my Beloved and my Father.  I cried; I laughed.  I feel a little weird sharing this stuff with you but I really feel like I need to.  Honestly, this is only the second time I have ever done this and I am so ashamed that I have not called out to God like this on behalf of so many.  That is something I want to change.  I want this kind a prayer to be just like breathing!

That was not the end of my amazing morning, though.  When I got up, in the time it took to wash my face and brush my teeth and one or two other things (about ten minutes), Mama told me about an email we had gotten asking for prayer.  As I read it I just started crying all over again.  It was from one of those people who had happened to pop into my head.  Everything I had prayed for (before reading the email remember) was in that email!  Wow, I am beyond blown away.  I had no idea but God knew and He led me to pray for this precious family and their ministry!

Never, ever think that your prayers are not important!  God hears them and He leads His people by His Spirit to pray for those in need!  I love my Lord and I am falling more in love with Him ever moment!  It is the greatest thing in the world.  I could go on and on, but I am sure it would be repetitive.

Please continue to call out to God daily for those in need and those that He brings to mind.  You never know when it will be life changing for someone, may be even you!

Through Christ,

Lady B

PostScript: I really feel like God must have something big planned, because satan is really on the prowl.
Please pray for those you know and do not know. Pray that God would send in His angels to do battle. That He would raise up warriors willing to fight for Him!