A Fragile Life?

So, I am the kind of girl who really enjoys Jane Austen dramas (on screen and off) and even dreams of living in those genteel times, but when comes right down to it; I would never make it.  Oh, yes, I would so enjoy having those manners and decorum and all that, but I could never live life as one so-- fragile. 

Give me the rough and tumble women of the wild west or the pilgrim/pioneer wives and daughters. 
Women who were all girl but worked with their hands and hard!

I want to live life to its fullest.  I do not want to spend my life, my health, my abilities sitting and doing nothing for fear of breaking me. I want to have fun, get dirty, break nails, even get a few scratches and nicks (see comment below for a favourite quote), go until I am almost spent (within bounds of reason), work, serve, play.  I want to do everything even if that is impossible.  I do not want to sit at home all the time!  Even when I am at home I want to be busy.

Do I do all this now? No.  Am I shunning relaxation? No. I am just saying that every moment I have should be spent. 

I just recently listened to an old podcast by Eric Ludy called Should We Not also Have Scars? (unfortunately I cannot find a link to the audio, but here is the transcript- very short) and that (plus some other thoughts and such) is what got this post started.
In the podcast Eric speaks of following Jesus and how we as Americans “are quite a sedentary lot.”  We want to stay comfortable but, as Eric shares, Amy Carmichael once said,

We follow a scarred Captain,
Should we not also have scars?

Wow, my Jesus was scarred in so many ways.  Do I even have one scar to show for Him?  Now, I do not mean physically- for the most part.  But has my heart and spirit been scarred because of my work for the Kingdom? 
Have I been seared by scenes and thoughts of the poor, needy, slaves and orphans?  Have I stood against friends and family because of what I know is true?  Have I been shunned by those I love?  Have I taken blows for my family, friends or even strangers, because I dared to stand against the enemy on their behalf?
Have I spent my body working to rescue those in need?  Helping the weak, poor, sick and injured? Have I pushed myself to the limits because I was so busy praying?  Have I gone without food, not so much by choice, but because my heart was so burdened?

I could go on and on…I want my life to be full, I want it to be worth something to my King.  I do not want to take up space.  I do not want to waste time.

I do not want to be fragile so that God cannot use me!