"He must increase, but I must decrease."

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I am a woman of many contradictions.

Sounds quaint, does it not?  At least in writing.  I can tell you it is not so quaint as it sounds.  I was just spending some time with God in prayer and I, well, I was having trouble expressing myself…to God!  There are many contradictions within me and I do not know how to understand some of them.  How can someone be so full of contradictions.  Things such as whether or not you drink.  I will not ever drink but I think drinking is…I cannot even put into words what I think because it sounds so illogical and unformed!  Another is I really do not like the computer and being on it, but I can spend hours on end doing absolutely nothing but wasting time!  . Then there is the issue of children’s ministry.  I believe that the Bible, the truth, should be enough to bring people to Christ.  that children should not be separated from their parents, families should learn together.  But then I think that children do need to be reached out to and have a focus on them.  How do you mesh the two?  I feel that God is leading me to children’s ministry but how can I? (I am starting to get that tense, anxious feeling so I had better move on before something explodes.)  Then there are even bigger things like I know I love God, but there is a verse in the Bible that says “if you love me you will keep my commands.”   I wonder if I really love God; I do not always keep His commands…  The old adage, “Actions speak louder than words,” is my constant companion and  antagonist.  I know what I know about myself, or do I?  The saying seems to tell me otherwise.

As I was praying I just began telling God all of this and asking Him for help, and when I could say no more I began reading today’s passage, II Timothy 2.  Here is what the first verse says, “Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”

I do not know what I am going to do with myself or my contradictory nature but I will learn to be strong in the grace God has given me in Jesus Christ!

Thank you for listening to my rambling today!

Through Christ,

Lady Helen

1 comment:

  1. Hello! This is Sarah from Country Musings. Thank you for following our blog!
    Wow, this is a really good post! I know exactly what you are talking about. I can spend hours contradicting with myself and wrestling with who knows what. Troublesome, isn't it? ;)
    I can totally agree with being on the computer, yet hating it. I do it all the time, though I am trying to work on it.
    That is a good thought on church. My family always worshiped together. We kids did not go to childrens bible school (can't even remember what it is called..). Now we do Home church instead. However, I think a great way to mesh the two together (worshiping as a family, but still focusing on the kids like you said) is to let the family worship together, and then it is the parents duty to teach their children. That is what God made them to do! The Father should be the lead in the home and it is up to him, and his HELPmeet, to help their children to learn the ways of the Lord. I was about to say "in a way that they can understand" but then that brings up something that I always wonder at. Why do we make religion SO complicated?? I mean, people have these huge debates over little things and lose the bigger picture. It happens everywhere.
    A rather cute thing happened in church the other day.. we had been discussing Acts and were talking about the distributing of the food and the arguement that happened their among the different types of Jews. One little girl popped up and said, "Maybe they used measuring cups!" Now, we hadn't been debating as to HOW they were distributing, but more of what was happening at that time. However, I loved listening to her simplicity. She saw it like that and was ready to move on.
    Any way, I am probably rambling.. lol! However, really good thoughts!! Thank you for sharing. :) I will be praying for you, my friend, that you will find out what God wants you to do. You could pray for me in that area as well.
    In Christ Alone,


Colossians 4:6
Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.