Sounds quaint, does it not? At least in writing. I can tell you it is not so quaint as it sounds. I was just spending some time with God in prayer and I, well, I was having trouble expressing myself…to God! There are many contradictions within me and I do not know how to understand some of them. How can someone be so full of contradictions. Things such as whether or not you drink. I will not ever drink but I think drinking is…I cannot even put into words what I think because it sounds so illogical and unformed! Another is I really do not like the computer and being on it, but I can spend hours on end doing absolutely nothing but wasting time! . Then there is the issue of children’s ministry. I believe that the Bible, the truth, should be enough to bring people to Christ. that children should not be separated from their parents, families should learn together. But then I think that children do need to be reached out to and have a focus on them. How do you mesh the two? I feel that God is leading me to children’s ministry but how can I? (I am starting to get that tense, anxious feeling so I had better move on before something explodes.) Then there are even bigger things like I know I love God, but there is a verse in the Bible that says “if you love me you will keep my commands.” I wonder if I really love God; I do not always keep His commands… The old adage, “Actions speak louder than words,” is my constant companion and antagonist. I know what I know about myself, or do I? The saying seems to tell me otherwise.
As I was praying I just began telling God all of this and asking Him for help, and when I could say no more I began reading today’s passage, II Timothy 2. Here is what the first verse says, “Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”
I do not know what I am going to do with myself or my contradictory nature but I will learn to be strong in the grace God has given me in Jesus Christ!
Thank you for listening to my rambling today!